Positve Changes

Things have really turned around since my last post.
For awhile, I was really thinking The Universe was conspiring against me. Every time I expressed my gratitude for something, it was immediately taken away. This happened so often it became a running joke, on me. Finally, one night I cursed The Universe until I was absolutely spent. Then I cried into a tree. I've heard tree hugging works. It does. Those hippies knew what they were doing.

The night of cursing happened after a particularly low day, which followed particularly low weeks, which followed bleak months. While walking through Central Park one night during a full moon, I looked up and saw a demon looking back at me. That was it. Clouds shaped as a mocking demon?! It was insult to injury.
I won't go into the details of my rant, although screaming included: "WTF do you WANT from me? I'm doing everything I've read and heard to do. Everything is in place, I'm following my F'in passions. I've done the F'in action steps,  and NOTHING is F'in working. NOTHING. WTF?!?!?! Give me some help down here. I'm at a loss, and I truly can't take it any more."

I don't know what it was about that night, and similar meltdowns around that time (a few trees were sobbed into), but things have changed. For the better. Much, much better.

At least professionally.
Now I'm considering crying about men. And demanding to know what it will take to have a positive, healthy, happy, loving, supportive and sexy relationship. Because, man, do I keep repeating patterns. Hit head against wall. Repeat. Head hurts. Time to change that pattern. But I digress…